Entertaining Platt: Ted (2012)

July 5, 2012 § Leave a comment

“Forget the blackjack…”

There’s a simple litmus test to determine whether you’re going to like Ted or run screaming from the theater in disgust:

Do you like Seth MacFarlane’s Family Guy? Would you get a kick out of Peter Griffin in CGI teddy bear form? Do you have a high tolerance for fart jokes?

If you answered yes to all of these questions, then Ted is for you.

It’s an unrelenting series of pop culture jokes and references, most of them offensive to one group or another, touching on everything from 9/11 to Aaron Sorkin’s airport mushroom bust.

I haven’t laughed out loud in the movies this much since The Hangover.

Highlights of the movie for me included:

  • “LOOK WHAT JESUS DID! LOOK WHAT JESUS DID!” as a TV preacher reacts to word spreading across the world about the famous teddy bear that came to life because of a little kid’s wish.
  • Patrick Stewart’s narration.
  • Ted vs. John in a motel room battle royale.
  • Ted’s perverse showboating for a cashier in the grocery store. “Oh. So that’s where we draw the line.”
  • An entire sequence in which Ted and John get wasted with Sam Jones (star of the schlocky ‘80s sci-fi flick, Flash Gordon). Unfortunately, Sam looks a lot like a leather satchel these days and he sounds like Bea Arthur, but he’s a good sport for sending himself up.
  • A cameo by Ryan Reynolds in which he proves more useful and amusing than in any of his recent starring roles.

It’s not a work of absolute genius, but it doesn’t have any pretentions of that sort. It’s not an art film, although the artistry behind Ted’s character design and emotional expressions is actually impressive.

Go into this movie looking for off-color laughs and lots of “They did NOT just do that” gags and you won’t be disappointed.


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